I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
