i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
