I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
