Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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