Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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