I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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