how can u be prego again
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
