I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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