The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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