I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize