oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize