I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
