I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
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