Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
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I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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