we're blogging at a bar
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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