even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
