Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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