I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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