you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
