I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
