you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
