there's paper in my vomit.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize