I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
