My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
