I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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