pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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