onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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