i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
