You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize