im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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