You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
