Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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