This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
