So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
How external is "for external use only"?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
