Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
