I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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