Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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