Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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