My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
