Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
