omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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