You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
