nut hugger
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
smell my finger.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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