ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
