Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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