Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
God I need to hump something, right now.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
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