he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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