i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
im having a threesome with these popsicles
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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