Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize