She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
