My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize