Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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