all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
