kristin has been a bad kristin
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
