I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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